If you’ve read any health-related articles, listened to any wellness podcasts or picked up any women’s magazine in the last ten years or so, you’ve probably noticed the word “mindfulness.” Everyone is trying to be more mindful with everything from their kids to their drinking habits. “Mindfulness” has become a bit of a buzzword, and I’m suspicious of health buzzwords. (They’re suss, as The Child would say.)
I did some research and study on mindfulness, both on my own and as part of my yoga teacher training several years ago. What I learned was intriguing.
Let’s start with the definition. Mindfulness is defined as “the practice of maintaining a nonjudgmental state of heightened or complete awareness of one’s thoughts, emotions, or experiences on a moment-to-moment basis.” (“Mindfulness.” Merriam-Webster.com Dictionary, Merriam-Webster, https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/mindfulness. Accessed 20 Feb. 2023.)
Well, that clears it right up. In simpler terms, mindfulness is the practice of being completely aware of the experience you’re having while you’re having it. I realize that might sound a little woo-woo. Of course I’m aware of the experience I’m having. I’m reading this right now and I’m fully aware that I’m reading it, you might be thinking.
But are you? Is your television or radio on in the room? Are you reading this with half a brain, while the other half is wondering what to have for lunch? If so, that’s not mindfulness.
When we’re being mindful, we are in the moment, awake to our current experience. We are not dwelling on the past, nor are we anticipating the future. We can notice our thoughts and emotions without judgment.
Now, let me state very clearly here that we cannot be mindful every moment of every day. That would be exhausting. And we do need to anticipate the future. We need to make grocery lists. We need to plan for retirement. Also, we sometimes like to revisit the past. Great conversations can start by saying, “Hey, remember the time when we…”
And, to be very blunt, sometimes the present moment is boring. I’ve sat in many meetings-that-should-have-been-emails and those are fantastic opportunities to make grocery lists. It looks like you’re taking notes.
But the point is, being mindful is about not letting our current experience go unnoticed while we worry about some future event or agonize over some past wrongdoing. Because while our minds are focused on the past or future, our bodies are located here in the present – and our lives are passing us by.
True, real-life example. Last week I woke up one morning when The Child barreled into our bedroom, as he does most mornings. He climbed in bed between me and Hubs and wanted to cuddle. I started to mentally make my plans for the day, thinking about the tasks on my calendar, including (I promise I am not making this up) teaching a virtual class on mindfulness.
All of a sudden, the concept of mindfulness hit me like a ton of bricks. I was thinking about all the things I had to do in the future, when in the very real present, my son, my not-so-little-anymore, growing-up-so-fast child was snuggling with me and someday it will be the last time he wants to do that.
I practiced mindfulness so hard, it would have made your head spin. I smelled his hair. I felt his fuzzy pajamas under my cheek. I noticed how big his feet had gotten as he rested them on my leg. I touched his still super-soft hands.
I was paying attention, I was in the moment, I was experiencing it as it was happening. That’s mindfulness. It’s that easy. And that difficult.
In our society, we are always being pushed to focus on the next thing. The next meeting, the next deadline, the next appointment. Hurry, hurry to work, to school, to the dentist, to your child’s soccer practice, to your supposedly-relaxing vacation. As soon as we get there, we’re already thinking about the next thing we need to do.
If we’re not looking ahead, we’re somewhere in the past. I shouldn’t have said that. I shouldn’t have eaten that. I shouldn’t have taken this job. I wish I had gone to that yoga class. It’s too late to change those things now. Maybe, going forward, we can take steps to correct them or make changes that we feel more positive about – but we can’t undo the past. So let’s stop letting it ruin the NOW.
Mindfulness is all about the NOW. The more time we spend in the now, the happier we are. Really.
The benefits of mindfulness have been studied in two ways. First, people who have learned mindfulness practices (usually by completing a multi-session course or working with a trained therapist) complete questionnaires and self-report that they experience less stress and higher levels of life satisfaction, self-esteem and competence, among other things.
Self-reported data is great. I think it’s valuable for study participants to provide feedback on their experiences, especially if they can use their own words. The only problem is that self-reported data isn’t necessarily measurable. Also, people tend to report what they think the researcher wants to hear. We do this in real life too. When someone says, “How are you?”, we usually say, “Great!” even if we’ve never been less great.
The second method of measuring the benefits of mindfulness is more objective. Researchers have been able to view differences in brain activity using neuroimaging methods, such as PET scans and functional MRI. In one particular study, researchers found (and I’m quoting), “…mindfulness was associated with reduced bilateral amygdala activation and greater widespread prefrontal cortical activation during an affect labeling task.”
Clear as mud, right? In English now. The amygdala is the part of the brain that is responsible for handling stress, strong emotional responses and memory of emotions, including fear. So reduced amygdala activation is a good thing. It means that when the study participants were exposed to certain stimuli (like looking at disturbing photos), they experienced fewer strong emotions like fear, anger or sadness. They had a calmer response to the emotionally charged stimuli.
In this same study, the prefrontal cortices (plural of cortex) of participants had greater activation than in people who had not learned mindfulness practices. The prefrontal cortex is the part of the brain that handles complex cognitive behavior, personality expression, decision making and moderates our social behavior. This is the part of the brain that doesn’t fully mature until we are adults and so therefore is responsible for a lot of the teenage behavior that teenagers frequently display. The prefrontal cortex is responsible for logical, rational behavior. So when participants studied the disturbing photos, their prefrontal cortices said something like, “Huh. This is upsetting, but these are just photos. Maybe they’re even Photoshopped. No need to overreact.” Logical, rational responses prevailed. No need to get the emotions involved.
To sum up, this study and others like it showed that participants who had learned mindfulness techniques were better able to handle emotionally charged stimuli without major reactions or stress responses.
So how can we bring these concepts into our real lives, which are full of emotionally charged stimuli? Probably not by squeezing an eight-week mindfulness course into our already overscheduled lives. Instead, let’s try to work in short chunks of mindful behaviors. Practiced regularly, you should see similar results.
Like any habit, to get better at mindfulness, you need to practice it regularly and pairing it with something you already do makes it easier to remember to do it. A simple practice would be to incorporate mindfulness into hand washing. Hopefully, hand washing is something you already do on a regular basis. Next time you wash your hands, try to be mindful about it. Notice the temperature of the water. Focus on the scent of the soap. Feel your hands and fingers sliding around and in between each other. Really look at the soap bubbles – are they big or small? Are they colorful? When you dry your hands, notice the towel. Is it soft? Scratchy? When you’re washing your hands, just wash your hands.
Then go back to whatever you were doing before. But next time you wash your hands, do it all again. Train yourself to practice mindfulness every time you wash your hands. After a few weeks, add in another practice – every time you pour your coffee, or shave, or walk the dog. Notice the sights, sounds, smells, tastes and tactile sensations. The practice adds up and you’ll notice that you start doing it in other areas of your life as well.
The more we incorporate mindfulness into our everyday lives, the more fascinating and satisfying they become. Observing our present-moment experiences without judgment allows us to see more of the good that is happening around us.
(Need help? Yoga is great for learning mindfulness practices.)
Thanks for being with me on this wellness journey.
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